These are the books on which the wildly popular HBO series Game of Thrones is based. I am late to the game on both the books and TV series, having only read two of the books at the time of this publication and watched nary an episode of the series, but at least I can use the excuse of having been only eight years old when the first book was written, and consequently more interested in reading about the antics of Beverly Cleary's Ramona and her oddly-named sister, Beezus. At any rate, I'm now on Team Martin, and I prostrate myself at the feet of this portly genius, who masterfully spins wildly complex and fascinating story-lines with a deftness that would earn a fist-bump even from Professor Tolkien himself. (If having double R's in one's initials confers the ability to write epic fantasy classics loved by millions of readers worldwide, I'll gladly change by name to Rhea R.R. Incendiary Wit, M.D.)
While the books are dense and confusing, they truly are expertly crafted and undeniably gratifying on many levels. More importantly, Martin has managed to harness the rip-roaring spirit of high fantasy while framing it within the context of an almost Borgia-like historical epic that is uncomfortably similar to our own world. And the man is not shy about killing off majorly important and beloved characters, no sir. I may have only read the first two books, but I've read all the spoilers, so I'm well aware of the horrors to come. But I'm hooked, and must plow ahead through the vast tomes until I see how the story ends. I suppose it can be said that a good writer writes nicotine books, while George R. R. Martin writes crack books. But this particular crack ain't whack.
Such is my adoration of the series that I find myself wondering if the world Martin has created is superior to the real world. (I already know that the world in musical theatre--the one in which it's socially acceptable to sing one's feelings and crucial life events--is infinitely superior to the real world.)Naturally, I made a list.
How Westeros Is Better Than Earth
- Dragons exist.
- Direwolves exist.
- People wear fur...lots of fur. And nobody confuses them with mob wives.
- People have WAY cooler names in Westeros, i.e. Rhaegar, Barristan, and Melisandre. Some Earth names for comparison: Newt, Mitt, and Blue Ivy.
- Warriors can get away with wearing truly fabulous armor (see: Tywin Lannister's swishy, shiny, red number. See also: Loras Tyrell's flowery belt. See also: Renly...just Renly in general).
- Phrases like "the flayed man of the Dreadfort" are commonplace.
- Every important person has a sigil. I've always wanted a sigil. Mine would probably be a snarling tiger, clad head-to-tail in Chanel.
- I don't think Miley Cyrus or Ann Coulter exist in Westeros.
How Earth is Better Than Westeros
- Democracy exists.
- It surely sucks to be a smallfolk in Westeros. Those people really get jerked around a lot when kings clash and all that, and I mean really.
- We also don't really use the term "smallfolk" on Earth to refer to peasants. It just doesn't sound right.
- To my knowledge, there are no ice zombies on Earth. (Unless Ann Coulter is one of The Others?)
