Moments ago, while watching a rerun of Scrubs on Comedy Central, I bore witness to the most nauseatingly sexist display of advertising douchebaggery ever to sully the airwaves.
Allow me to set the scene: a breathy female voice says, "Get close", in what I can only imagine is some filthy, over-paid ad moron's idea of a clever double entendre. Carmen Electra, clad in a ludicrously tight, short, low-cut dress that reveals about 97% of her fake double-D's, sashays toward the camera, batting her eyelashes seductively. She flirtatiously says, "Hey guys, how do you expect to get a close shave if your beard is laying down?", sounding every bit as uneducated and illiterate as I've always imagined Carmen Electra to be. The next shot is--and I am not making this up--a field of beard hairs leaping to attention like an army of penises who have just spotted Carmen Electra's shiny, silicone cleavage. Carmen then sidles up to the man whose five-o'clock-shadow demands the assistance of the obviously superior razor for which the commercial is advertising, and she proceeds to suggestively caress his face. The ad concludes with a close-up of Carmen's heavy-lidded sex face, leaving me to wonder how exactly this ad is supposed to be selling razors.
I am fully aware of the old adage that "sex sells". I am also aware that feminine beauty is prized above feminine intelligence, which is why everyone knows who Carmen Electra is, and only my boyfriend and I seem to know who Rachel Maddow is (I love you, Rach!). Therefore, it doesn't shock me that this company decided to use a sexy, beautiful female to get the attention of their audience of beard-sporters. However, it sure would be nice if these ad idiots (or Adiots, as I like to call them) would show their consumers an inkling of respect by avoiding such blatantly sexual advertising for a product whose connection to sex is tenuous at best. The failure to do so results in the tacky, tasteless, trashy TV spot that sucked ten seconds out of my precious evening.
I have a love-hate relationship with advertising. It's sort of the way I feel about the Kardashians. They make me sick to my stomach, but, for some reason, they oddly fascinate me. I try to avoid them as much as I can, yet, every so often, I find myself pondering their mysterious origins and how they came to dictate the course of all our lives. I think I need TiVo.
